If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize