I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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