i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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