Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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