Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize