Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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