OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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