My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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