he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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