We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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