I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize