You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize