apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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