I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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