dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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