ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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