Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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