Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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