I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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