I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It's never too late to be topless.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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