hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I wish I only lived at night.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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