Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
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that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
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I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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