I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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