Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I am midnight drunk by noon
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
God, I missed his penis.
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