What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize