actually, I'm a sock model
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize