so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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