Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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