Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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