i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
two words...techno handjob
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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