She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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