Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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