well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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