maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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