I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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