This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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