I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize