He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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