Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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