didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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