I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
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I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
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I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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