i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize