I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
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she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
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He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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