it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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