What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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