I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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