Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
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is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
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My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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