What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
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I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
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I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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