I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
There was a lot of him and a little penis
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Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
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At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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