Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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